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Making Love or want to sex ?
o men, it seems that there is no difference between having sex and making love. However, there can be a great difference between them for a woman. Most women want to make love instead of having sex. Of course there are also women who merely want to have sex. However, if you are having it with your beloved one, you should be focusing on the notion of making love.
Making love is totally different from having sex. If you are seeking for one-night-stands then you are trying to have sexual intercourses. In most cases a man will not think about their performance on the bed if he is only having one-night-stand. There is also no commitment for the man to satisfy the lady. As a matter of fact it is quite difficult for a man to satisfy a woman if it is the first time for them to have sexual intercourse.
On the contrary, it is different for making love. There are at least some commitments. In fact, the man should also care about the feelings of his partner in this case. There are some emotional connections between the partners. There is no such connection in the case of one-night-stands. Besides, a woman may not concern the atmosphere so much when having one-night-stands. However, she will certainly want a pleasant and romantic atmosphere if she is going to make love with the man she loves.
In fact, in most cases the best location for making love is in a romantic room. You have to make sure that no one will bother you during the period of time. If possible, both of you should try to switch off your mobiles. It will not be a pleasant experience if someone disturbs you when you are having the intimate moment with your partner. Of course sometimes both of you and your partner will want something more exciting, you may want to make love on the car or even in some outdoor location. If this is the case then go ahead!
As you may probably know, foreplay is also extremely important. You should take enough time to have foreplay. If you are a man, you should try to explore all the different ways to arouse her. Try to kiss every inch of her skin. As a matter of fact kissing is always a great way to arouse a woman.
Again, communication is the most important. Your lady may not verbally tell you what she wants. However, you should be able to know that from her reaction. Trying to understand her body language is a must!
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Making love is totally different from having sex. If you are seeking for one-night-stands then you are trying to have sexual intercourses. In most cases a man will not think about their performance on the bed if he is only having one-night-stand. There is also no commitment for the man to satisfy the lady. As a matter of fact it is quite difficult for a man to satisfy a woman if it is the first time for them to have sexual intercourse.
On the contrary, it is different for making love. There are at least some commitments. In fact, the man should also care about the feelings of his partner in this case. There are some emotional connections between the partners. There is no such connection in the case of one-night-stands. Besides, a woman may not concern the atmosphere so much when having one-night-stands. However, she will certainly want a pleasant and romantic atmosphere if she is going to make love with the man she loves.
In fact, in most cases the best location for making love is in a romantic room. You have to make sure that no one will bother you during the period of time. If possible, both of you should try to switch off your mobiles. It will not be a pleasant experience if someone disturbs you when you are having the intimate moment with your partner. Of course sometimes both of you and your partner will want something more exciting, you may want to make love on the car or even in some outdoor location. If this is the case then go ahead!
As you may probably know, foreplay is also extremely important. You should take enough time to have foreplay. If you are a man, you should try to explore all the different ways to arouse her. Try to kiss every inch of her skin. As a matter of fact kissing is always a great way to arouse a woman.
Again, communication is the most important. Your lady may not verbally tell you what she wants. However, you should be able to know that from her reaction. Trying to understand her body language is a must!
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Looking for Love ?
"I just couldn't help it! I fell in love and I just stayed too long. I knew s/he wasn't the one... we had so many problems! But I just couldn't help it!"
This statement leads me to believe that when it comes to love, too many of us listen with our hearts rather than our heads. Think about it.
But when it comes to choosing a mate, too many of us repeatedly make the wrong choices by settling for any person that comes along and shows the slightest interest. Approach your next committed relationship with a clearer idea of who is right and who is just for right now by utilizing a few of these tips!
Sexual compatibility is not just a matter of technique, because that is something that the two of you can learn as you grow together. Instead, you and your partner need to be truly attracted to one another and demonstrate this attraction with touches, caresses, kisses and creative lovemaking.
Does your guy handle anger reasonably and appropriately, or does he take it out on you? Does she accept responsibility for negative outcomes, or does she usually blame someone else? Domineering, aggressive or critically sarcastic people are destructive to a loving union.
Immaturity and low self-esteem also spell trouble. Emotionally immaturity is usually demonstrated in jealous behavior, a noted lack of trust, and a need for constant reassurance. An overly dependent whiner makes a mature relationship impossible to achieve.
A mate that finds it difficult or impossible to compromise will be challenged by the adjustments and negotiations required to maintain a successful long-term partnership. If you have doubts about the relationship, don't fool yourself into ignoring your uncertainties and believing that your partner will magically change "later after we're married."
If you find yourself hoping that he or she will be less moody, less extravagant, less angry, less violently jealous, more affectionate, more attentive, more sexual - you are running a considerable risk by ignoring these feelings. If the potential for change and a willingness to freely adjust to change is important to you, look for a flexible partner BEFORE you commit yourself to the relationship, not after.See....
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This statement leads me to believe that when it comes to love, too many of us listen with our hearts rather than our heads. Think about it.
But when it comes to choosing a mate, too many of us repeatedly make the wrong choices by settling for any person that comes along and shows the slightest interest. Approach your next committed relationship with a clearer idea of who is right and who is just for right now by utilizing a few of these tips!
- Hold Off On Commitment.
- Thinking about a commitment in this situation made absolutely no sense. Dating seriously and seeing each other at least twice a week for 6-9 months might work. But if you argue and fight all the time, WATCH OUT! Breakup to makeup could be establishing a pattern that is likely to continue once you are serious or married.
- Alternatively, if you DO have a serious committed relationship but have postponed taking it to the next level for years, you need to closely examine your motives for stalling. Are you hanging onto your independence due to fear?
- Look For The Similarities.
- Sexual and Emotional Compatibility Counts.
Sexual compatibility is not just a matter of technique, because that is something that the two of you can learn as you grow together. Instead, you and your partner need to be truly attracted to one another and demonstrate this attraction with touches, caresses, kisses and creative lovemaking.
- Emotional Maturity Counts Even More!
Does your guy handle anger reasonably and appropriately, or does he take it out on you? Does she accept responsibility for negative outcomes, or does she usually blame someone else? Domineering, aggressive or critically sarcastic people are destructive to a loving union.
Immaturity and low self-esteem also spell trouble. Emotionally immaturity is usually demonstrated in jealous behavior, a noted lack of trust, and a need for constant reassurance. An overly dependent whiner makes a mature relationship impossible to achieve.
- Flexibility And Willingness To Compromise.
A mate that finds it difficult or impossible to compromise will be challenged by the adjustments and negotiations required to maintain a successful long-term partnership. If you have doubts about the relationship, don't fool yourself into ignoring your uncertainties and believing that your partner will magically change "later after we're married."
If you find yourself hoping that he or she will be less moody, less extravagant, less angry, less violently jealous, more affectionate, more attentive, more sexual - you are running a considerable risk by ignoring these feelings. If the potential for change and a willingness to freely adjust to change is important to you, look for a flexible partner BEFORE you commit yourself to the relationship, not after.See....
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Idol's latest castoff, David Hernandez, revealed that his first choice for Beatles' week was Let It Be, which Brooke White won after drawing from a hat. Next week, he was set to perform Yesterday, and, possibly hinting at the top 10 week's theme, shared that he had plans to sing Chaka Khan's Ain't Nobody.
Did his stripper past have an affect on voting? He doesn't think so and blames his exit on poor song choice. Hernandez said he wasn’t worried about his past being exposed because he's not ashamed of it. "If this is the worst thing that people say about me in my career, then I think I'll be OK."
Closest to his roommate, Chikezie, Hernandez said fellow contestants helped him cope with the scrutiny, telling him, 'Don't you get on the Internet, we're going to keep the TV off, and we're not going to worry about any of that stuff."
His immediate plans include appearances on Ellen and The Today Show. He also hopes to score a record deal and perhaps look to Broadway. What would his album sound like? "Definitely pop and R&B influenced," with some Hernandez originals.
The biggest lesson learned from all of this? "All is fair in love, war and entertainment.
USA TODAY's LuzElena Avitia
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David H lets it be
Idol's latest castoff, David Hernandez, revealed that his first choice for Beatles' week was Let It Be, which Brooke White won after drawing from a hat. Next week, he was set to perform Yesterday, and, possibly hinting at the top 10 week's theme, shared that he had plans to sing Chaka Khan's Ain't Nobody.
Did his stripper past have an affect on voting? He doesn't think so and blames his exit on poor song choice. Hernandez said he wasn’t worried about his past being exposed because he's not ashamed of it. "If this is the worst thing that people say about me in my career, then I think I'll be OK."
Closest to his roommate, Chikezie, Hernandez said fellow contestants helped him cope with the scrutiny, telling him, 'Don't you get on the Internet, we're going to keep the TV off, and we're not going to worry about any of that stuff."
His immediate plans include appearances on Ellen and The Today Show. He also hopes to score a record deal and perhaps look to Broadway. What would his album sound like? "Definitely pop and R&B influenced," with some Hernandez originals.
The biggest lesson learned from all of this? "All is fair in love, war and entertainment.
USA TODAY's LuzElena Avitia
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Tips Copywriting
When looking for tips on effective copywriting this technique is so powerful and impressive It's not even amusing.
Make certain to understand this concept, because it's one of the strategies that will drive many more sales, and help your copywriting and your credibility.
What is this "One-Two knockout" that will deliver many more sales? Here's what's required:
1. A claim so ludicrous it is unheard of
2. Positive. Proof that the claim is 100% truthful
Sounds uncomplicated doesn't it? Well here's the how and why...
This formula is most efficient when applied at the very beginning of your sales copy.
You need your headline to make a claim that's so pretentious that it sounds like an out and out lie.
The more preposterous it seems, the more effective it will be The prospect ought to be saying, "Yeah right, what a bunch of BS" in the back of their mind. That is how substantial you want the claim to be.
Now after making the claim (in your headline for this Good example) you need to show the substantial proof that your claim is truthful. It's best performed via a testimonial, or a scientific study, a bonus check, whatever it may be that shows the solid proof of what you claimed.
The proof you demonstrate ought to be as detailed as possible regarding the claim.
There should be no doubt in the customers mind at all that the claim was hyped in anyway what so ever.
Here is a good example of this:
How to quickly and effortlessly erupt your profits by up to 867% by unearthing secret "insider only" tactics!
"I simply used the tactics outlined by Jane Doe, exactly how she said to. It took no effort at all and within weeks my profits where up 867%!!!!" - Jane Doe
Now that is a rough example, and by no means the only use of this powerful technique. But I think you get the point. In that I claimed that the prospect could "quickly and easily" increase their profits by up to 867%.
Then right afterwards... I give proof that it can be done. Now this has power over the prospects mind well beyond getting them to read more of the copy.
It actually makes them more likely to believe everything you tell them from now on without questioning a single thing!
After you construct a very audacious claim and prove yourself correct every claim you make is presumed just as correct.
I am not supposing you should put in fictitious claims later on in your copy, not at all!
But, this will allow for you to make additional claims without being forced to show proof that they're true.
This saves time (space) in your sales copy for more significant and effective copywriting Skills to shine through... This method is so compelling it is difficult to describe!!!
You ought to try and use it as early on as possible in your sales copy (that's why the
headline is the most effective place) since it makes the rest of your copy more effective on persuading the prospect.
Having said that, feel free to use it in every part of your sales letter for maximum
effect, if you can use it several times, immediately after making outrageous claims, you will condition the reader to accepting every word you write to be true, to be accurate, and to be full of credibility. What more could you want?
But you must always back up your claims with solid social proof to make your copy effective. And believable
by Ken Edwards
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Make certain to understand this concept, because it's one of the strategies that will drive many more sales, and help your copywriting and your credibility.
What is this "One-Two knockout" that will deliver many more sales? Here's what's required:
1. A claim so ludicrous it is unheard of
2. Positive. Proof that the claim is 100% truthful
Sounds uncomplicated doesn't it? Well here's the how and why...
This formula is most efficient when applied at the very beginning of your sales copy.
You need your headline to make a claim that's so pretentious that it sounds like an out and out lie.
The more preposterous it seems, the more effective it will be The prospect ought to be saying, "Yeah right, what a bunch of BS" in the back of their mind. That is how substantial you want the claim to be.
Now after making the claim (in your headline for this Good example) you need to show the substantial proof that your claim is truthful. It's best performed via a testimonial, or a scientific study, a bonus check, whatever it may be that shows the solid proof of what you claimed.
The proof you demonstrate ought to be as detailed as possible regarding the claim.
There should be no doubt in the customers mind at all that the claim was hyped in anyway what so ever.
Here is a good example of this:
How to quickly and effortlessly erupt your profits by up to 867% by unearthing secret "insider only" tactics!
"I simply used the tactics outlined by Jane Doe, exactly how she said to. It took no effort at all and within weeks my profits where up 867%!!!!" - Jane Doe
Now that is a rough example, and by no means the only use of this powerful technique. But I think you get the point. In that I claimed that the prospect could "quickly and easily" increase their profits by up to 867%.
Then right afterwards... I give proof that it can be done. Now this has power over the prospects mind well beyond getting them to read more of the copy.
It actually makes them more likely to believe everything you tell them from now on without questioning a single thing!
After you construct a very audacious claim and prove yourself correct every claim you make is presumed just as correct.
I am not supposing you should put in fictitious claims later on in your copy, not at all!
But, this will allow for you to make additional claims without being forced to show proof that they're true.
This saves time (space) in your sales copy for more significant and effective copywriting Skills to shine through... This method is so compelling it is difficult to describe!!!
You ought to try and use it as early on as possible in your sales copy (that's why the
headline is the most effective place) since it makes the rest of your copy more effective on persuading the prospect.
Having said that, feel free to use it in every part of your sales letter for maximum
effect, if you can use it several times, immediately after making outrageous claims, you will condition the reader to accepting every word you write to be true, to be accurate, and to be full of credibility. What more could you want?
But you must always back up your claims with solid social proof to make your copy effective. And believable
by Ken Edwards
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Blogging with a new baby sounds a little nuts and is likely to be the last thing on your mind but it may just be the relief valve you need.
I put mothers on a very high pedestal. Even though I am a father and a grandfather, I really have no clue just how tough it is taking care of an infant. I know it's an almost incredible amount of work, and between changing diapers and keeping the nursery squared away it seems unrealistic to imagine that there would be time left over for any mother to blog. However, a growing number of moms are joining the blogosphere to share their experiences during this exciting and challenging time of life. There are a whole range of benefits that mothers can gain from blogging, and the spectrum covers everything from getting through the night to helping distant relatives feel closer, not to mention maintaining your sanity.
What is a blog and why is blogging such a great idea? A blog is nothing more than a daily journal, diary, if you will, of your thoughts and experiences. You write about them, in your own words, and post them online in your blog. Your readers then can comment and start a communication link with you. Best of all, blogging is free.
I run multiple free blogs and can tell you that blogging is a tremendous way to relieve stress and interact with others. It focuses me away from my daily routine and stresses. See my Author Box below for the link to my blog on Family Life to get an idea of what I am talking about. That blog is free on Blogger.com. There are other sources for free blogs but that's getting ahead of ourselves for this article.
For a mom dealing with the hassles and triumphs of a baby, blogging about your motherhood is a great way to blow off some steam or just to share some of the joys of motherhood. Your blogging may even help new mothers get through the trials and tribulations of their first infant.
If your baby often has very erratic sleep patterns that leave you up at odd hours of the night, blogging may just be the best way to fill those hours. Many moms turn to television to help them weather these dawn vigils but, by blogging through the night, moms can turn what feels like a somewhat depressing situation into an actively positive and productive one through blogging.
Another reason why moms often find blogging very satisfying is that it helps them to be a part of a community. For moms who are unable to successfully juggle a full social life with the very tough demands of taking care of a new baby, blogging can be a great way to stave off the isolation that sometimes comes during this stage of life.
A baby requires constant attention, and it can be difficult to attend social gatherings or events when you are responsible for an infant. Luckily, the internet is full of other moms in the same situation, and by chatting with them it is possible to overcome
some of the loneliness that many new mothers are surprised to encounter. If you are a new mother, you can learn from experienced mothers. If you are experienced, you can pass along your wisdom to the new mothers. In that process of exchange you all break the patterns of stress and isolation.
Of course, for a mom with an adorable new baby, blogging can be as much about celebration as it is about necessity. Having a blog about living with a new child can give mothers the chance to reflect on how powerful and warm the sensation of motherhood is, and sometimes sharing the triumphs of this unique time can make them even sweeter.
A blog is a great way to keep friends and family updated with news about your baby's first words or first steps, and with new technology it is easier than ever to make photos and video clips a part of your blog, so you can give far-away relatives the chance to feel much more involved in your child's life. Many email services now have the ability to email videos. You simply load the video onto your computer, attach it electronically, and your relatives get to see your baby is live action.
Blogging, at first, may seem a bit intimidating. Look for someone, a close relative who is computer savvy, to teach you the ins and outs or spend some time online in those wee hours surfing the internet for information about blogging. There is a ton a free tutorials online that will cut your learning curve and soon you can be a blogging whiz!
by: Jim DeSantis
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New Baby
Blogging with a new baby sounds a little nuts and is likely to be the last thing on your mind but it may just be the relief valve you need.
I put mothers on a very high pedestal. Even though I am a father and a grandfather, I really have no clue just how tough it is taking care of an infant. I know it's an almost incredible amount of work, and between changing diapers and keeping the nursery squared away it seems unrealistic to imagine that there would be time left over for any mother to blog. However, a growing number of moms are joining the blogosphere to share their experiences during this exciting and challenging time of life. There are a whole range of benefits that mothers can gain from blogging, and the spectrum covers everything from getting through the night to helping distant relatives feel closer, not to mention maintaining your sanity.
What is a blog and why is blogging such a great idea? A blog is nothing more than a daily journal, diary, if you will, of your thoughts and experiences. You write about them, in your own words, and post them online in your blog. Your readers then can comment and start a communication link with you. Best of all, blogging is free.
I run multiple free blogs and can tell you that blogging is a tremendous way to relieve stress and interact with others. It focuses me away from my daily routine and stresses. See my Author Box below for the link to my blog on Family Life to get an idea of what I am talking about. That blog is free on Blogger.com. There are other sources for free blogs but that's getting ahead of ourselves for this article.
For a mom dealing with the hassles and triumphs of a baby, blogging about your motherhood is a great way to blow off some steam or just to share some of the joys of motherhood. Your blogging may even help new mothers get through the trials and tribulations of their first infant.
If your baby often has very erratic sleep patterns that leave you up at odd hours of the night, blogging may just be the best way to fill those hours. Many moms turn to television to help them weather these dawn vigils but, by blogging through the night, moms can turn what feels like a somewhat depressing situation into an actively positive and productive one through blogging.
Another reason why moms often find blogging very satisfying is that it helps them to be a part of a community. For moms who are unable to successfully juggle a full social life with the very tough demands of taking care of a new baby, blogging can be a great way to stave off the isolation that sometimes comes during this stage of life.
A baby requires constant attention, and it can be difficult to attend social gatherings or events when you are responsible for an infant. Luckily, the internet is full of other moms in the same situation, and by chatting with them it is possible to overcome
some of the loneliness that many new mothers are surprised to encounter. If you are a new mother, you can learn from experienced mothers. If you are experienced, you can pass along your wisdom to the new mothers. In that process of exchange you all break the patterns of stress and isolation.
Of course, for a mom with an adorable new baby, blogging can be as much about celebration as it is about necessity. Having a blog about living with a new child can give mothers the chance to reflect on how powerful and warm the sensation of motherhood is, and sometimes sharing the triumphs of this unique time can make them even sweeter.
A blog is a great way to keep friends and family updated with news about your baby's first words or first steps, and with new technology it is easier than ever to make photos and video clips a part of your blog, so you can give far-away relatives the chance to feel much more involved in your child's life. Many email services now have the ability to email videos. You simply load the video onto your computer, attach it electronically, and your relatives get to see your baby is live action.
Blogging, at first, may seem a bit intimidating. Look for someone, a close relative who is computer savvy, to teach you the ins and outs or spend some time online in those wee hours surfing the internet for information about blogging. There is a ton a free tutorials online that will cut your learning curve and soon you can be a blogging whiz!
by: Jim DeSantis
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Some Traditions are Great!
Not all traditions are bad. Of course they're not. Some traditions are what keep our families glued together. But in businesses, in churches, even in families, tradition just for the sake of tradition can be bad. Knowing why we participate in traditions is important, especially when they are company, church or other organization traditions. But even family traditions should be examined to see if they are hurtful or helpful.
Dictionary.com lists many definitions of the word tradition. They include: "the handling down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice; a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting; a continuing pattern of culture beliefs or practices; a customary or characteristic method or manner; a theology."
Where I think we get into trouble is when traditions include the continuing of a way of thinking or a cultural belief where there is acceptance without thinking through why the tradition exists or how it began. To me, such mindless acceptance is why there is still prejudice and discrimination. Prejudice, after all, is "An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts." By accepting an action or thought process as traditional, it is easy to see how it could become a prejudicial act as well.
But family traditions, traditions that embrace the act of being together in celebration, can be fun and beneficial. One of my sisters has some very special Christmas traditions established many years ago when her girls, now about 19 and 23, were young. They held a cookie exchange each year for their friends and each of their mothers. What fun they had, and what a great assortment of cookies they received each year because of this event.
My sister also purchases special Christmas ornaments each year for her daughters. When her eldest got married, she had quite an unusual assortment to take with her as she established her own home and traditions.
My sister also puts a pickle ornament on her own tree each year. I'm not sure to which legend she ascribes about the pickle ornament. Both are supposedly German in origin. One says that the child who finds the pickle ornament will receive an extra present. The other says that the child will receive good luck or good fortune in the year to come.
The Internet is full of references to this supposed German tradition. However, here's a link to an article by About.com disclaiming this German myth. http://german.about.com/library/blgermyth11.htm
While it's interesting to discover that the original reason my sister placed the pickle ornament on the tree might be in error, I doubt she will discontinue the practice. It has become a family tradition, even if the assumption of the origin is incorrect.
In this instance, the origin of the tradition doesn't really matter because the act of placing a pickle ornament on the Christmas tree doesn't hurt anyone. But traditions steeped in error that are or can be hurtful are the ones we must examine.
Recently, I received an email from 48 Days. 48 Days is a coaching, seminar and self-help company with programs to change your life in 48 days. In the weekly newsletter, Dan Miller mentioned a story from ThinkerToys by Michael Michalko.
It said, "Imagine a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage there is a banana on a string. Before long a monkey walks over and reaches for the banana. As soon as he touches the banana, all the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. After a while another monkey makes an attempt to grab the banana ? with the same result. All the monkeys are instantly sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to reach for the banana, the other monkeys will try to stop him.
Now forget the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and obviously goes over and starts to grab it. But to his surprise, all of the other monkeys attack him to prevent him from touching the banana.
Next, remove another of the original monkeys and replace it with a new one. Now all of the monkeys currently in the cage stop the new one from getting to the banana. Replace the third, fourth and fifth monkeys with new ones Each one becomes a willing opponent to allowing anyone to touch that banana.
Soon there are none of the original monkeys in that cage, yet they continue to stay away from bananas, a food they would normally love.
This is what happens to us when we blindly follow traditions of companies, churches, organizations. There are sometimes crazy activities that we continue to follow without giving any thought to the reasons behind them.
Dan Miller continues, "Does your church sit in pews, sing 3 songs and have a 30 minute sermon because that's the best way to complete God's work here, or just because that's become a cultural tradition?"
I smiled as I read that question. The church I attend has round tables instead of pews. We drink coffee and eat donuts while we listen to the sermon, and the round tables provide a perfect surface for taking notes and for visiting quietly with our neighbors.
Our pastor bucked tradition from the beginning. He arrived at the church 23 years ago with a guitar in tow. He used "media" in his church services when that mean using 8mm movies and slide projectors and overhead projectors. Now, of course, he uses computers and big screens, and our praise team and the "pulpit" have the latest sound equipment. And lest you think otherwise, ours is not a mega-church. We have, at most, 200 members and our pastor is the only paid staff member. Although our church is United Methodist, the sign outside says Salem Community Church. Still, there are new traditions in the midst of one who rebels against many traditions. I doubt that those round tables will be removed while this pastor presides over the church. He has established that as a church tradition.
While thinking about strange traditions, I thought about the joke about the mother who was teaching her teen daughter to cook the "traditional" ham for a family holiday dinner. Have you heard this one?
The mother was preparing the ham and she cut off the end of it and put it aside to use for sandwiches. She spoke to her daughter about how to season the ham and when to add the pineapples to the pan. She saw that her daughter's face was all scrunched up in confusion.
"What?" asked the mom.
"Why did you cut off the end of the ham?" inquired the daughter.
"Weeeeellllll......" stammered the mom. "I'm not really sure. My mother always cut off the end of the ham. Maybe it doesn't cook up as well. Grandma will be here tonight for dinner and we'll ask her."
When Grandma arrived, and before she could even get her coat off, her granddaughter excitedly said, "Grandma, Mom is teaching me how to make the ham. Why did you cut off the end of the ham? Mom didn't know."
Grandma let out a loud belly laugh. "Why, dear, I cut off the end of the ham because I couldn't fit it in the pan if I didn't. I liked using the pan I got from my mother, but it was never quite big enough for the size ham I got. So I cut off the tip."
What about you? Are you cutting off the end of the ham without knowing why?
As Dan Miller said, "Take the next 7 days to challenge all your daily assumptions. You may be surprised how you can uncover some readily available fresh, tasty bananas right within your reach!"
by Marilyn Mackenzie
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Dictionary.com lists many definitions of the word tradition. They include: "the handling down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice; a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting; a continuing pattern of culture beliefs or practices; a customary or characteristic method or manner; a theology."
Where I think we get into trouble is when traditions include the continuing of a way of thinking or a cultural belief where there is acceptance without thinking through why the tradition exists or how it began. To me, such mindless acceptance is why there is still prejudice and discrimination. Prejudice, after all, is "An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts." By accepting an action or thought process as traditional, it is easy to see how it could become a prejudicial act as well.
But family traditions, traditions that embrace the act of being together in celebration, can be fun and beneficial. One of my sisters has some very special Christmas traditions established many years ago when her girls, now about 19 and 23, were young. They held a cookie exchange each year for their friends and each of their mothers. What fun they had, and what a great assortment of cookies they received each year because of this event.
My sister also purchases special Christmas ornaments each year for her daughters. When her eldest got married, she had quite an unusual assortment to take with her as she established her own home and traditions.
My sister also puts a pickle ornament on her own tree each year. I'm not sure to which legend she ascribes about the pickle ornament. Both are supposedly German in origin. One says that the child who finds the pickle ornament will receive an extra present. The other says that the child will receive good luck or good fortune in the year to come.
The Internet is full of references to this supposed German tradition. However, here's a link to an article by About.com disclaiming this German myth. http://german.about.com/library/blgermyth11.htm
While it's interesting to discover that the original reason my sister placed the pickle ornament on the tree might be in error, I doubt she will discontinue the practice. It has become a family tradition, even if the assumption of the origin is incorrect.
In this instance, the origin of the tradition doesn't really matter because the act of placing a pickle ornament on the Christmas tree doesn't hurt anyone. But traditions steeped in error that are or can be hurtful are the ones we must examine.
Recently, I received an email from 48 Days. 48 Days is a coaching, seminar and self-help company with programs to change your life in 48 days. In the weekly newsletter, Dan Miller mentioned a story from ThinkerToys by Michael Michalko.
It said, "Imagine a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage there is a banana on a string. Before long a monkey walks over and reaches for the banana. As soon as he touches the banana, all the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. After a while another monkey makes an attempt to grab the banana ? with the same result. All the monkeys are instantly sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to reach for the banana, the other monkeys will try to stop him.
Now forget the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and obviously goes over and starts to grab it. But to his surprise, all of the other monkeys attack him to prevent him from touching the banana.
Next, remove another of the original monkeys and replace it with a new one. Now all of the monkeys currently in the cage stop the new one from getting to the banana. Replace the third, fourth and fifth monkeys with new ones Each one becomes a willing opponent to allowing anyone to touch that banana.
Soon there are none of the original monkeys in that cage, yet they continue to stay away from bananas, a food they would normally love.
This is what happens to us when we blindly follow traditions of companies, churches, organizations. There are sometimes crazy activities that we continue to follow without giving any thought to the reasons behind them.
Dan Miller continues, "Does your church sit in pews, sing 3 songs and have a 30 minute sermon because that's the best way to complete God's work here, or just because that's become a cultural tradition?"
I smiled as I read that question. The church I attend has round tables instead of pews. We drink coffee and eat donuts while we listen to the sermon, and the round tables provide a perfect surface for taking notes and for visiting quietly with our neighbors.
Our pastor bucked tradition from the beginning. He arrived at the church 23 years ago with a guitar in tow. He used "media" in his church services when that mean using 8mm movies and slide projectors and overhead projectors. Now, of course, he uses computers and big screens, and our praise team and the "pulpit" have the latest sound equipment. And lest you think otherwise, ours is not a mega-church. We have, at most, 200 members and our pastor is the only paid staff member. Although our church is United Methodist, the sign outside says Salem Community Church. Still, there are new traditions in the midst of one who rebels against many traditions. I doubt that those round tables will be removed while this pastor presides over the church. He has established that as a church tradition.
While thinking about strange traditions, I thought about the joke about the mother who was teaching her teen daughter to cook the "traditional" ham for a family holiday dinner. Have you heard this one?
The mother was preparing the ham and she cut off the end of it and put it aside to use for sandwiches. She spoke to her daughter about how to season the ham and when to add the pineapples to the pan. She saw that her daughter's face was all scrunched up in confusion.
"What?" asked the mom.
"Why did you cut off the end of the ham?" inquired the daughter.
"Weeeeellllll......" stammered the mom. "I'm not really sure. My mother always cut off the end of the ham. Maybe it doesn't cook up as well. Grandma will be here tonight for dinner and we'll ask her."
When Grandma arrived, and before she could even get her coat off, her granddaughter excitedly said, "Grandma, Mom is teaching me how to make the ham. Why did you cut off the end of the ham? Mom didn't know."
Grandma let out a loud belly laugh. "Why, dear, I cut off the end of the ham because I couldn't fit it in the pan if I didn't. I liked using the pan I got from my mother, but it was never quite big enough for the size ham I got. So I cut off the tip."
What about you? Are you cutting off the end of the ham without knowing why?
As Dan Miller said, "Take the next 7 days to challenge all your daily assumptions. You may be surprised how you can uncover some readily available fresh, tasty bananas right within your reach!"
by Marilyn Mackenzie
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any kind of campaign. Planning an event or meeting...learn about travel destinations and incentives items that motivate. Whether you want to attract or reward talented employees, thank loyal clients, find new prospects or tout your new products and services, Successful Promotions can help with true-life case histories, usable marketing strategies and showcases of proven promotional products nine times per year.
Geographic Eligibility: USA
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Details see here
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Successful Promotion
any kind of campaign. Planning an event or meeting...learn about travel destinations and incentives items that motivate. Whether you want to attract or reward talented employees, thank loyal clients, find new prospects or tout your new products and services, Successful Promotions can help with true-life case histories, usable marketing strategies and showcases of proven promotional products nine times per year.
Geographic Eligibility: USA
Publisher: Advertising Specialty Institute
Details see here
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First, it is a matter of arithmetic. Statistics show that globally even there are about 105-107 boys born for every 100 girls, yet after the age of 40 women outnumber men. In 2003, the Census Bureau estimated a total of 144,513,361 females of all ages, compared to 138,396,524 males in the US.
Based on 1971 census, 68% of 25-to-29-year-old university graduates were male. Ten years later, women had more or less caught up to men as only 54% of graduates were male. By 1991, women had become the slight majority, comprising 51% of graduates. In the 2001 census, universities had clearly become the domain of women, as they made up 58% of all graduates.
If woman continue to advance in mentality at the present ratio, before long many men may have difficulty in finding a woman who is ignorance to make appropriate consort.
And, this has become a global issue. In Europe, England, Japan, China, more and more woman find out marriage is becoming a difficult business for them. Facing such global matrimonial unbalance between men and women, what will you do?
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read more
Difficults Business for Woman?
First, it is a matter of arithmetic. Statistics show that globally even there are about 105-107 boys born for every 100 girls, yet after the age of 40 women outnumber men. In 2003, the Census Bureau estimated a total of 144,513,361 females of all ages, compared to 138,396,524 males in the US.
Based on 1971 census, 68% of 25-to-29-year-old university graduates were male. Ten years later, women had more or less caught up to men as only 54% of graduates were male. By 1991, women had become the slight majority, comprising 51% of graduates. In the 2001 census, universities had clearly become the domain of women, as they made up 58% of all graduates.
If woman continue to advance in mentality at the present ratio, before long many men may have difficulty in finding a woman who is ignorance to make appropriate consort.
And, this has become a global issue. In Europe, England, Japan, China, more and more woman find out marriage is becoming a difficult business for them. Facing such global matrimonial unbalance between men and women, what will you do?
Here are 7 Tips for single woman from people who have a happy and long-term marriage. Go to http://www.roseforlove.com/7tips.html to get your FREE copy!
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